Pearls in the Poop

Have you ever felt like the world is moving around you, but you are standing still. As a child I was use to hiding and staying out the way, watching for the next IED to explode if I stepped the wrong way. Now I’m 50 years old, wow that sounds so much older than 49. Anyway, I digress..

Now, when my relationships are calm and quiet, I find myself wondering what is wrong? Is this the calm before the storm? It seems boring? I find myself wanting to provoke some action to make sure I’m alive. This reminds me why those who are raised in traumatic homes need constant drama in their lives, if it calms down, now what? What do you do with quiet? Listen to your heart? What? Oh no! What will I find.?

It’s scary to be quiet when your heart is full of pain and shame. But I promise it is so worth it! You will discover your own beauty and learn to enjoy quiet and know it doesn’t mean absence of attachment.

My belief is that there is always a pearl in the poop. Yes, you may have to put your boots on and dig for it, but you will find shiny pearls.

I have gone through sexual trauma, emotional trauma, spiritual abuse and many other things in between. I’ve learned to accept that I’m human and this is good, I make mistakes and it’s ok. I’m not anyone’s Savior. There is only One Savior, Jesus himself.

My pearls are many, but one important one is that I have compassion and empathy for those in deep pain and I don’t shame people for where they are in their journey. I can love others better out of the pain I went through. Now that’s a pearl in the poop.